Nacho Aficionado T-Shirts

'He doesn't love me as much as he loves my nachos.'

'Where are we going, Dad?'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Beer Stall

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Treasure Island Book.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Happy thoughts

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Fyodor Dostoevsky

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

"That's our new church mascot."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"You run into a window, too?"

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."