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"I tried working at home, but my wife didn't like me performing colonoscopies in the dining room."

"I'm looking for voter feedback. Tell me what I need to say to get re-elected, and I'll say it!"

"Why do they do that?"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Super Dog'

Dog walking Human.

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

"Three more years of high school."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

''Yeah, mine's a rescue dog too.''

Sheep dog late for work

Happy Hour

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."