Mythos Fans Gifts

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

Hot Tub Frosty

"I know. But I think I can change him."

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

Going Down?

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

"So do you still think 'rising sea levels' is a bunch of baloney?"

"Um, latest update Noah: the Warrumwarbler is now extinct."

"He's So Your Type."

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

Viking River Raids

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely