Mythical Cooking Fan T-Shirts

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

Helicopter tour guide: 'And THERE they are folks! The mysterious ancient stone figures of Easter Island!'

'Well, it was in 1990 that I started to think I didn't exist.'

Atlasyphus.

'Creme brulee! You're the best Mum!'

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

"Yes, I see where you left your phone."

SANTA'S WORKSHOP, 'About that breath of yours -- maybe you should consult the Tooth Fairy.'

"Everything here is very fresh."

"Since we're off the grid, Madge does the cooking over a bonfire."

Nigella Lawson

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

'The cauldron is just for the sauce - I do the rest in my microwave.'

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

Narcissus

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

Surprise!

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

'Whoever called this job WAITING obviously never did it!'

'Fortune cookies aren't fun for me. I always know my fortune in advance.'

"Great interview! and your credentials are impeccable, there's just one last thing..."

Like Other Legendary Brits, Young Eric Clapton Discovered His Destiny Quite By Accident.

'There, you see?... There aren't any humans hiding under your bed.'

"You have a strong interest in sports."

"Lemming" Meringue Pie

Traditional Russian Nesting Egg Doll Thanksgiving... Turducken

Bug Burgers and Chips at The Golden Toadstool

'I see you haven't paid me yet!'

"I have no idea what you are babbling about, and why aren't you working on the tower."

'Today I discover fire, tonight she burns dinner.'

'Are you the original, or just one of his clones?'