Mystified Intellectual T-Shirts

'It's some intellectual group, but nobody can figure out what they want.'

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

Quantum Psychic

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

Sisyphus visits Stowe

Sisyphus and coronavirus

"The moon, the dinner, dancing. How could this night be more perfect?"

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

A voodoo doctor.

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

A self-filling prophecy.

Whale Cupid: The Whale world's version of Cupid using a high-powered Harpoon as a Bow and arrow.

Palm Reader...

"How do you feel after six days of creating?"

"Hey, that's what everyone thinks about the strategic planning department! I've got a crystal ball and we all study the occult! Hah Hah Hah!..."

'He said my future stinks.'

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

"Do you know Issac Newton discovered gravity in 1867? Before that people could fly."

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'

"Here's a free tip for you, kid: learn how to brood. Most people in the world mistake it for depth."

"Any kind of election is getting harder to call these days. . ."

"You're allowed to keep collecting the teeth, but we're going to call you a fairy to make it sound less terrifying."

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."