Mystics-in-suits Gifts

'So where do you see yourself in five years?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"Did you have a cat?"

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

Cat Seance

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

"…Ommmmmmmmmmmmmoooooney, heh, heh, …ommmm…"

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

"Why am I a nurse? In my former lives I was a mind-reader, a juggler and a scribe."

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

'When will it be o.k. to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

"Hmmm. I'm gonna have to Google this."

'The crystal reveals you spend your money foolishly. That will be twenty-five dollars, please.

I just knew this would be dull.

'That's funny, I'd have sworn you were a medium.'

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

'Our relationship isn't easy when she's always bringing up my past!'

'Don't tell anybody, but I'm not wearing a robe.'

'Oh Wise One, I have but one question... why are we here?'

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

"My first husband was Roland, 'The Human Cannonball', .... and then one day he didn't go ballistic."

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

Ouija board speaks recorded options

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

"It's a bit of a scam. They sell the crystal ball at cost, then nail you on the price of replacement psych-ink cartridges."