Mystics Gifts

'When will it be o.k. to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

"The rhythm is gonna get you."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Czarcasm

The Witches Discover The Wok

Tiny Visions

Quantum Psychic

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'Your future looks charming.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"Did you have a cat?"

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

Ill next Thursday

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.