Mystical Adviser Pillows

A ghost visits a man in a prison cell

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"All the celebrities come here."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"How do I get down?"

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'