Mystical Adviser Pillows

A ghost visits a man in a prison cell

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"All the celebrities come here."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"How do I get down?"

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''