Mystic Visionary Gifts

"You're second sighted."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

Quantum Psychic

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Wow, this guy is DEEP.'

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"Did you have a cat?"

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

David Hockney

A voodoo doctor.

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Nostradamus.

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

"I'll be right back."

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

A self-filling prophecy.

"I have grave news."

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'