Mystic Motorist T-Shirts

Psychic Car Mechanics.

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"Did you have a cat?"

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

Demonic Repossession.

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

Ill next Thursday

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Amateur Palmist

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

Hog Futures

'It's my new fortune e-reader.'

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

'Ha Ha! Stop seeing astrally and look behind you, Bob!'

'Hold it right there, pal! I had a vision that your check is going to bounce, so you can just head right back to your car!'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

spellchecker

Information desk manned by a fortune teller.

Dyslexic Palm Reading