Mystery Novelist Gifts

'Believe me, you don't want to know what's in it.'

"I have gathered you all here tonight to finally reveal which one of you killed Professor Sturm!"

'Oooh! How thrilling! A murder mystery!

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

The DaVinci Code

Edgar Allen Poe

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Victor Hugo

Reading my Critics

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

The Dorrie Decimal System

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Jean-Paul Sartre

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

Honoré de Balzac

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

John Bunyan

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"So the white whale was really just a metaphor for your mother's lack of affection?"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Gunter Grass

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

Iris Murdoch

George Orwell

Murder in Apartment 6-K