Mystery Adventurer T-Shirts

'I'm booking for my mother in law...anything going through the Bermuda Triangle?'

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Quantum Psychic

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'Quite nice here, when the tide goes out.'

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"My job went remote, so I got two more remote jobs are started secretly travelling the world."

Louis Pasteur

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

'How do I know your ours?'

"I'm going to introduce you to the wonderful world of trees."

Myths and Other Urban Legends

Desert Island Raking

"Not much is known about them. They apparently, had a highly advanced, thriving civilization. Then one August, everyone left the city and never returned."

"That's a beautiful poem, but of course, if you took the road less traveled, we'd make sure you have your GPS."

"I'll be right back."

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

'This is the last time I fly economy!'