Musicologist Extraordinaire T-Shirts

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Hildegard von Bingen

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

'That was Charlie Parker's 'Ornithology.' I threw in a flat nine in bar 16 and a tritone substitution in bar 22. Who noticed that? Hands up if you noticed!'

Sir Patrick Moore.

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

'Look Clara, I'm telling you for the last time, it's not me who's crazy. It's Eusebius.'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

"Yes it's Mozart...but is it evidence-based Mozart?"

"Now version of 'Des Knaben Wunderhorn'."

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

Another musical treatise from the 16th century is discovered.

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

Vivaldi and his creative partner

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

"This lovely song tall of a young woman on a spring day...happily comes across a fluorimeter with a fluid transfer system..."

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Richard Wagner

Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov.

"Do you have the 'Oxford Companion to Michael Jackson'?"

'Everybody stand back! I'm an ethnomusicologist.'

Franz Schubert

'I give all my new teachers the same advice. Never minimize the transformative power of a smile attached to your words.'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

Antonin Dvorak

'I've made spaghetti Johann - very good for contrapuntal work!'

A little night music...

Painting Music

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

'It's not tunes, it's Beethoven.'

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

Josquin Des Press