Musical Toolsetters Gifts

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Sale! Weed Whackers

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Congratulations on your retirement!

Waiting for retirement.

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

Guide to Carpentry Fish

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Creative entrepreneur at work

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

Three different categories of lawnmower.

'Workmate' bench helping DIY man "Left a bit"

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."