Tool Trickster Gifts

DIY store.

"Couldn't find the hammer."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Painting the Ceiling

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Primitive magician

Sale! Weed Whackers

Some card-game puns

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Candid Camera store.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Yoyo sheep

Congratulations on your retirement!

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Magic Tricks

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Waiting for retirement.

Magic Tricks