Musical Show-off Pillows

Golden Violinist

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'Selling a stock and marking a profit is better than selling it at a loss, if only for the bragging rights.'

"It also doubles as a karaoke machine."

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'You wouldn't listen to me. You have to buy the biggest tree in the lot!'

'Forgettable' - The Hit Musical

'It's for show and tell!'

"Because we're jerks."

"If anyone wants me I'll be on the shop floor strutting my stuff."

"You always seem to get good grades in Show and Tell."

King of the Swingers.

McTV, 'It's all singing commercials.'

'I SAID-what's wrong with a RATTLE like the rest of us?'

'Well my anchor is bigger than your anchor!'

Superstar photographs himself making the catch.

A dance line of women is lined up as a firing squad to kill me with their shoes.

Shelly and Marv took Most Hirsute Husband for the third year running with their sensational 'scrub the floor' routine.

How to appear more interesting.

'Now that's what I call a trickshot!'

"He really overdoes it with his opening move ... "

"I attended a leadership seminar. They learnt a lot from me."

Man uses scissor device with lighter attached to light big cigar.

"Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl..."

In Deep Denial

'I wouldn't read that book, dear...it's only there to impress visitors.'

"Who's he trying to impress? Silly ass!"

Grandstander!

"Every few years, a book comes along that’s so ahead of its time, so hauntingly beautiful, I’ll buy it and put it on my bookshelf."

'I've always been a bit of a ladies' man.'

Skateboarding peacock.

'Well, when in doubt, I always say, pick the wine that'll impress the hell out of the complete strangers at the next table.'

"No, I can't play piano, but I could fill that bowl with hundred dollar bills."

The Singing Financial Reporter