Musical Barrister T-Shirts

"Your Honor, if it please the court I'd like to deliver my opening comments in the form of a power ballad."

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'So, come back in fifteen minutes?...Twenty?'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

JET (Part I)

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

Clive Anderson

Barry Leffler, stunt lawyer

Make good decisions!

So you'd like to be a lawyer...

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

"I don’t want to ‘fetch’ – I want to practice entertainment law."

"For my next trick, I'll need a non-litigious volunteer."

It's a recording contract from the whale's agent.

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

"Right, so when Netflix want our story we’ll ask for 15% plus..."

Brewer & Jones: Washington, DC, New York, Attica, Leavenworth, Sing Sing.

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

"The circus was good but as 'Jo Jo, the dogged faced attorney', I'm making a killing."

"O.K., so no animals were harmed, but were they adequately compensated?"

"Take this harmonica, son - it won't do me any good where you're going."

"No need to sign a contract with J. Walters Agency. We take our branding seriously."

Can you tell me how to sue you for flunking me out of law school?

"I'd like to represent myself. . . though what as, I haven't yet decided."

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law."

Do you come here often? May I buy you a brief?

"Who do you want to sue when you grow up?"

'You have a beautiful voice but would you mind not singing your answers?'

"Who's a good witness."

'No, you may not give your answers a musical twist!'

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'

Lady to other: 'I teach culinary law. I specialize in torts.'