Musical Barrister T-Shirts

"Your Honor, if it please the court I'd like to deliver my opening comments in the form of a power ballad."

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'So, come back in fifteen minutes?...Twenty?'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

JET (Part I)

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Clive Anderson

Barry Leffler, stunt lawyer

So you'd like to be a lawyer...

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

"I don’t want to ‘fetch’ – I want to practice entertainment law."

"For my next trick, I'll need a non-litigious volunteer."

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

"No need to sign a contract with J. Walters Agency. We take our branding seriously."

"Right, so when Netflix want our story we’ll ask for 15% plus..."

"O.K., so no animals were harmed, but were they adequately compensated?"

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

"Take this harmonica, son - it won't do me any good where you're going."

"The circus was good but as 'Jo Jo, the dogged faced attorney', I'm making a killing."

Brewer & Jones: Washington, DC, New York, Attica, Leavenworth, Sing Sing.

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law."

'You have a beautiful voice but would you mind not singing your answers?'

"Who's a good witness."

'No, you may not give your answers a musical twist!'

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'

Lady to other: 'I teach culinary law. I specialize in torts.'

"Don't judge my client by the covers of the books he reads."