Music Therapy Enthusiast Pillows

"At our clinic we take a more 'radical' approach to ultrasound treatment."

'And now Patrick will tell us how music has helped him with his problems.'

Life intimidates Art - Garfunkel

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Couples' therapy

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

X-ray Psychology.

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'We have three minutes left.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

"You need to stop bottling it up."

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."