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Life Without Mozart

French horn.

'He's here to hit the high notes.'

Teacher to school inspector, "It's multi cultural and an oil drum around the neck keeps the little buggers out of mischief."

Big Al's Banjo, Accordion, and Bagpipe Palace - Closed due to Geneva Convention

Ludwig van Beethoven

"O.K., but this time with a little less feeling."

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

'I said 'blow' not 'suck'!'

"We don't need to push down on the pedal QUITE so hard, Petunia."

"Thus, the Yardbirds begat Cream, Spencer Davis Group begat Traffic, Cream and Traffic begat Blind Faith, and Blind Faith begat Derek and the Dominos and Ginger Baker's Air Force..."

World's Most Obscure Christmas Songs

Look! I'm doing it! I'm doing Jazz!

"And now, God help us all, Rachmaninoff's Concerto in C Minor."

"Can Wolfgang come out and play?"

Orchestral Conductor.

'Whoever told you it was a travel-cello was lying.'

"Now, how many of you liked the viola player best?"

'All right Billy, until your 'staccato' touch improves, we'll be having our piano lessons here at the stove.'

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

Loud Chorister

'Let's get outta here. This place is nothin' but treble.'

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

No Title

Man playing huge complicated brass instrument.

'You mean we've all been playing different songs? I wonder how long that's been going on...'

'Alright Billy, until your 'staccato' touch improves, we'll be having our piano lessons here at the stove.'

Need money for lessons

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

Fort Issimo: 'I don't like it - it's too quiet.'

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

Beethoven's 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and Fifth.

'My next selection is a protest song against piano lessons.'

"I only accept students with natural talent. Your kid's talent is unnatural."

"Run for your lives! It's the full 'Ring' cycle!!"