Music Ministry Leader Pillows

"Great deal or not, the new choir robes go back."

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'OK, everybody...'Louie, Louie' from the top!'

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

George Martin

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

". . . and what is the user name of this child?"

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

Four Chanting Monks

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

Regular Sermons - Fire & Brimstone Sermons

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! She was great! I hear she's so sought-after by musical theater productions that she can make them work around her schedule! So in other words, "Operettas are standing by!"

"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."

"Sinead?!"

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

'The music business.'

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

"Can you perform under pressure?"

If John Lennon had gone into strategic management.

'You look and sound like a real pro.'

'Is this the blues section?'

Choirboy

Keyboard in Front of a Organ

'Page 37 in your hymnals and selection #15 on your iPods.'

Priest walks by a religious book shelf and and a Satan book pops out to hit him on the head.

"Hard morning, Pastor?"

'This guy is recording our singing, but I can't see us getting royalties any time soon...'