Music Maestro Gifts

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

"Oh god, he's going for the jukebox!"

'All right Billy, until your 'staccato' touch improves, we'll be having our piano lessons here at the stove.'

Fort Issimo: 'I don't like it - it's too quiet.'

Musician having a brain scan.

Musical notes F-A-C-E between lines on musical scale

Beethoven's 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and Fifth.

"I only accept students with natural talent. Your kid's talent is unnatural."

'In an inexplicable attack of nerves, Elliot becomes the first person ever to screw up John Cage's 4'33'.

"Wrong address. You want the place next door."

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

"To calm your anxiety about your MRI, M.R.I.-ah Carey will be singing her latest hits during the scan."

To the pianist surprise, one day he actually cuts himself on a B Sharp.

'I told you not to clean it with soap and water.'

"What the ponytail for the downbeat."

Violin Practice

Mozart with a violin case.

"Munitions. I ordered a shipment of munitions."

"No going outside to play until you finish your chords."

One Man Band.

"I happen to be a doctor of music,madam."

Wiz Fipple and his Circadian Rhythms.

Pianissimo - (to sing very softly).

'It used to be much smaller until I answered a email about how I could enlarge my instrument and improve my performance.'

"That request is physically impossible..."

Caricature of Frank Sinatra.

While dreaming, Beethoven sees the future and loses hope,

'I'm a SNOOOW-Man,...doo-doot-doo-doo, doo-doot-doo-doo, I'm a SNOOOW-Man!...'

Composer.

Camille Saint-Saens

A Train Conductor.

Frederic Chopin

Tuba and rain

'My mother would be really mad at me if I didn't practice the piano every day!'

Edvard Grieg