Musical Maestros Gifts

"I've always wanted to go to consecutive performances of the same symphony led by different conductors - you know what I mean?"

Jean Philippe Rameau

'Don't mention music while they're here. He's brought his tuba.'

Small Man Playing a Cello

"Mrs. Porterhouse and her pianist have agreed to disagree."

Performance Review

'I'm sorry, but there are no guitars in 'Oom-pah Band Hero'.'

"It was all of them? Are you sure it wasn't just one who played the offensive music, ma'am?

Two dancers in bejeweled suits and flat caps

Can You Spot the Differences?

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Felix Mendelssohn

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

The No No No's

Horti-Culture

I love my Timpani

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Four children playing the flute.

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Hildegard von Bingen

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

'By golly, I think we've got ourselves a prodigy!'

"Scotch and water musick."

A baby playing on a grand piano

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

Artist and Musician

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

Dynamite little combo

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

Orchestra conductor

Quartet.

'Well Mimi, what's it going to be...medicine or the cello?'

Malcolm Sargent