Museum Going Pillows

"This is our first recession together."

"Have you noticed how the eyes seem to follow you round the room?"

"Remember! If there is a duvetyne curtain leading to a blackened room, we shall pass through it. If headphones are required, we will wear them. We shall push any button and read every text, for we are artists and we are unafraid."

In the Museum of Anthropology...we named this one discoman.

You're my Mona Lisa.

The Googler

"I think he was a celebrity."

'That's about it so far, Son.'

Culture Saturday

Party Animals.

"You're on a what?!"

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Why don't you find a museum!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

'I could do that.'

'Evidently, one of them was a cartoonist!'

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

The Other Cooperstown

Frederic Auguste Bartholdi

The Rise of Modern Art

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Antiques

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

I love Museum Shops

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'