Munitions Maven T-Shirts

'I got an 'A' in munitions.'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

Ice skater

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Podiatry. The greated podiatrist of all time, you say? Yep. I studied at his feet.

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

The end is near

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"Call me Ishmael."

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

If Other Nations Mourned Like the U.S.

I have a dream.

'First of all, let's make one thing clear: greed is good.'

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'U.S. Manufacturing'

'Our mutual fund management changed the name of the fund to clearly communicate their investment objectives. The fund is now called 'Make Money Anyway We Can'.'

Bleak House

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

'Psst. It's okay in here, but don't go around calling $690 billion 'chump change.''

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'This is my new boat. I finally succumbed to pier pressure.'

'I have a lot of stock in Zorex Drugs, and I only want medicine that they make.'

The Nautical Step

BUS, 'I've got all my money tied up in securitized mortgages or mortgaged securities -- I forget which.'

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

It doesn't matter if our house is made out of bricks, we've got a sub-prime mortgage!