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Good disciplinarian gaining respect vs. scary nutcase.

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

'Sure I know what would solve this problem. More floor space.'

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

"I agree, it's a real worry. We may have to consider limiting her screen time."

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'Uh-oh... when mom calls me by my full latin species name, I'm in big trouble.'

"Don't shoot the messenger."

"When Mom gives us alphabet soup it feels like she's putting word's in my mouth."

'Do you really want me to get in there and pollute all that nice clean water?'

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

"I'm bored."

"I would work from home, but I don't want my kids to see all the screen time I get."

"Mom, can you open this salami?"

"Don't forget to wash your hands."

Working from home

'This way! We will grant you sanctuary!'

Oops.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

How come you're so relaxed? wasn't today the first day of the school holidays?

'Oh, I don't need to worry about child rearing or childcare: I have thousands of workers to do that...'

"I did take a bath, I just didn't say when."

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Shredded wheat cereal, cracked wheat toast, and crushed pineapple. I didn't do it. It came that way.'

'I can't see what's so scary about it, but it sure made Mom scream.'

'So, that's something for your headache, something for your sore throat, and something to turn your children into mice.'

Marsupial Mom Jeans,

'I thought plants were solar powered.'

'You could give it to your mom with a huge Valentine card.'

For most, the day before school started was considered Labor Day. For Stewie's mom however, it had always been considered Independence Day.

'Ooopsss! I did it again.'

Mom Wears Her 'Security' Shirt To The Birthday Party

"Actually, no, Sue—four is not a great age."