Multi-tasking Champion Pillows

"Of course the most important skill they can acquire is the ability to multi-task!"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

Hassled Mother.

The Housewife

"Stay-at-home mom" is a misnomer. I spend ten hours a day driving kids all over town!

Working mother

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

I'm ego surfing right now, looking up my name on different search engines.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

"If anyone can balance a career with motherhood and state-sponsored terrorism, it's Jeannie."

Piano eight hands.

"I'll be out in the great world, wearing may hats."

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

Exhausted mother holds up 'Off Duty' sign.

Multitasking.

"The secret to his success? He's diversified."

One Man Band

'Well, nurse, it was a bit daft putting me next to this mirror!'

There's so many things I should be doing that when I procrastinate, I'm multitasking.

'Attention all employees shopping online during office hours must stop immediately! You are here to make money!!'

"O.K., now—on three, I'm going to toss a second job in there!"

'Yes, yes, I get the symbolism, Mr. Sanchez. You can wear many hats. Very clever.'

Drive-thru Day-care

I'm going to give each of my girlfriends a bottle of this wine for valentine's day. A port in every sweetheart!

'With so little free time, you have to learn to multi-task...'

'Remember I said I wish I had more arms so I could get more things done? Well the doctor took care of that problem.'

'I checked around and you're the only mommy that requires an appointment.'