Mudslinging Maverick T-Shirts

"And I'd like to ask my mud-slinging opponent if he's been faithful to that moose he married."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

'First of all, relax.'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

Ski kicker.

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"hmm. Mother Nature's definitely trying to tell us something here."

How's this mulch for improving my soil? Not good. It's full of toxic wood chips. They poison the dirt and don't decompose. Just what I need. Subprime loam.

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

'Goopta took early retirement.'

Behind the cow is a manure castle. 'Yeah...It's a gift.'

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

Sword rises, Excalibur like, from body of patient undergoing operation.

The Perfect Dengue Storm and Coronavirus

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

'This is no time to decide that you'd rather be doing something else!'

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

'Sorry I'm late. I had you booked as the gastroenteritis, on Mont Blanc.'

First Attempts: Wright Brothers. Hair-plane.

Expectations vs. Bitterness

Ye Haul.

Sunburn.

'And I say it's time this boat was rocked!'

"Yo, Mr. 'Knight of the Round Table' — this isn’t cilantro, it’s parsley."

"I don't object to their right to roam, I just wish they would wipe their feet."

'It's a hell of a climb but it's worth it!'

'Forget crossing my palm with silver... I'll accept notes!'

'Butterworth was encountering a slight problem with the latest addition to his aquarium'

The Island of Misfit Pants

"Before you enter the water complete a full reversal of your political opinions."

How psychics keep out the riffraff...