Muddy Footprint Avoider Pillows

'I've just washed that doormat!'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Good News about winter

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'Frank, I think it's about time you bought another pair of boots.'

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

'How do I know your ours?'

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

'Was that yours Clarrie, or one of mine?'

"The decorator was here. He said we should have a room in which we don't sit down."

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

How to deal with weeds

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

Wipe Your Feet

Oil man gets oil for his car directly from oil well.

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.

"I don't object to their right to roam, I just wish they would wipe their feet."

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'

'So I looked at your Facebook page...oh man...there's no way you're getting this job!'

'Beautiful day out there, folks. Don't miss it. Complete coverage, coming up next.'

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'

Woman afraid of a computer mouse.

'Nasty, right to the end!'

"How the hell does he do that?"

Watson, this is the footprint of a gigantic hound!

Virtual priority

Crater Lake

'The sad thing is, Jonah's so afraid of the water now, he won't even take a bath.'

'Hey, Mom! -- You want to hear a dirty story?'

The ocean - vast, deep magnificent...