Mr. Money Matters Pillows

Gentleman wanting to know exactly how much he owes his butler

Watering Money

'Money isn't making you happy? Okay, I'll raise my rate, and we'll see how that works for you.'

Economic Prosperity

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

'I'm only a millionaires, and there are over 260 billionaires!'

Scott Walker keeps his job.

'Whoever said 'We have nothing to fear but fear itself' ought to have a look at my credit card bill.'

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

Business news - 'Interest rates will remain unchanged...but the number of zeroes in $1,000,000 will be reduced from 6 to 5...'

"Experts agree - we need a tax increase."

'Think about it: There were over three million of us co-owning this ant-hill, so we only got a few cents each...'

"We can't go on meeting like this, I'm practically broke."

The Recession Hole.

"You're my ideal client. A man with a LOT of money, in a LOT of trouble."

EU-budget fight

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

"What do you mean, 'money isn't everything'?

Plimbco Bank & Trust, old money division.

"'How does this make me feel?' For what you charge an hour - you should be able to tell me."

'Behind the Eight Ball'

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

'You can't win — every time we earn a little overtime, it gets eaten up by inflation!'

'You have 17 new conflicting messages...'

'Wow! You weren't exaggerating when you said your company had a high cash burn rate!'

Self Service Loan

"You have a pre-existing condition...your credit score."

Community Bailout.

Dicorce lawyer: 'I can't promise you custody of your money. But I'll make darn sure you get full visitation rights!'

The Inflation of the Dollar.

"Does he have bills to pay as well then..?"

'The 22% tax I understand, but who gets the other 78%?'

'Yes, we offer no-fee checking accounts. For a small fee.'

IRS, 'Don't forget -- your first payment on that barrel is due in 30 days.'

Ethical investment - piggy bank