Mowing The Lawn Pillows

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

Three different categories of lawnmower.

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

The Scottish Lawn

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Cow Pilot.

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

Try to extinguish the potting shed...brush wood ash into a neat pile - it will make valuable plant food.

God builds the first lawn mower.

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

"Ahh, if I'm not much mistaken. The sound of a Lawn Chief 420. Fitted with a 3.5 horse power, Briggs and Stratton engine. Electronic ignition, variable valve timing and a 55 litre grass box. Mmm don't you just love our Sunday mornings dear?"

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc

'That one's for a man with a very large lawn, it's fitted with sat nav.'

"That was a stupid place to put the lawn mowings."

Break up the hard soil around plants...and do everything possible to provide moisture...

October: Brush all leaves into a neat pile to rot. They will make valuable plant food.

How soon can we expect computers to mow the lawn.

Keep off the Square.

'The growing field of lawn enforcement'.

'OK... I know that lawnmower's in here somewhere...'

Grades of booze

"Yes, of course you can borrow Gerald's lawnmower, but only if you take him too."

This Job Sucks

Phlox

'Of course I hate to work in the garden, but I've been blackmailed - my wife wanted me either to mow the lawn or to have sex with her.'

'If we keep the grass short, predators are less likely to sneak up unnoticed...'

Mower Fraud!

Bob's new year's resolution was to give up his obnoxious, monstrous, macho streak...he vowed to ditch the leaf blower!

Extreme sports have always been Vince's passion...