Mower Mechanic Gifts

"Ahh, if I'm not much mistaken. The sound of a Lawn Chief 420. Fitted with a 3.5 horse power, Briggs and Stratton engine. Electronic ignition, variable valve timing and a 55 litre grass box. Mmm don't you just love our Sunday mornings dear?"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

Biker At Museum

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

Keen gardener.

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

'I understand you work on foreign models?'

Family Sidecar

God builds the first lawn mower.

'Mac works on cars strictly for his own amusement.'

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

"Don't worry they will find us. We're still in the park..."

When Cows Discovered Mowers

"They don't build them like this any more. Heck, why would they?"

DIY motor repairs.

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

Plasterer skimming a wall

'I got the key to the executive bathroom. They made me the official custodian.'