Mower Mechanic Gifts

"Ahh, if I'm not much mistaken. The sound of a Lawn Chief 420. Fitted with a 3.5 horse power, Briggs and Stratton engine. Electronic ignition, variable valve timing and a 55 litre grass box. Mmm don't you just love our Sunday mornings dear?"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

Biker At Museum

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

Keen gardener.

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

Family Sidecar

'I understand you work on foreign models?'

"Don't worry they will find us. We're still in the park..."

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

God builds the first lawn mower.

'Mac works on cars strictly for his own amusement.'

"They don't build them like this any more. Heck, why would they?"

DIY motor repairs.

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

Plasterer skimming a wall

Digger.

'I made a list of bikes I want to look at today. You may want to eat before we go, as this may take awhile.'