Moving On Pillows

"Then it's agreed. When this is all over, we'll continue to social distance with each other."

'Oh, them...they're just my x husands.'

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

"After you ran away with the spoon, I moved on. I'm not going to Hey Diddle Diddle my life for you any more."

"That's my ex-boyfriend!"

"I just thought I'd come over to say...you know...you look, like...totally different! Like...totally hot."

"Woah, dude! I never knew Smiley could be so hot!"

"Oh, Gregorio, I never thought I would marry again!"

It was time to move on. They knew it, but no one wanted to say it - except the bus driver, who was being paid to.

'You can call off the search now -- I remarried.'

Face the Music Tavern - Formerly The Free Spirit.

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'

Woman sees her ex-lover hiding down a manhole with a traffic cone on his head. She says: 'Let's be grown-ups, Jeremy. There's no need for us to avoid eye contact in the street.'

Leaving the past behind....

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

'Darling, this is my ex. You know, the one I said you were twice the man of.'

'He's left me for good, this time. Says he wants to live life in the fast lane.'

'I'd like a table by the widow.'

'So you came all the way from Aberdeen to say you've found someone else and you're over me?!' 'Yes! I wanted to see the pain and sense of loss in your eyes.'

"I mean...the breakup is further complicated by the fact that all our shared objects are alive...."

I can't believe he dumped me. Remember, if you love someone set them free. And if you hate someone set them free. In other words, set everyone free and get a cat.

"I think we should start seeing other people."

"You'll get over him."

"Isn't this romantic—just the two of us by a fire as it consumes every letter from that tramp you almost married?"

"Jack, I'm looking through these old love letters, faded flowers and other sentimental objects meant to inspire tender memories… junk?"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

Fishbowl rebellion.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."