Moving Into A Timeshare T-Shirts

Big egg timer 'Latest in time share properties.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Picking pastries.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Captain steering house through flood.

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

Mother Goose Timeshare

''Now we're the only yard in the block with a blue apple tree!'

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

We're looking for a quiet neighborhood where everyone feeds us because they all believe we belong to them.

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

'Hoy Mr Woodpecker: Some of us are trying to sleep here!'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

Suburban street.

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

'Oh Elias! It's simply the cutest bear rug I ever did see!'

'What's the neighbourhood like?'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

"No, I'm a transplant."

"Trust me, you won't miss the air when you see this closet space."

The Life of a Sentient Rock

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

"What?"