Moving Into A Smart House Pillows

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

The Not-So Smart Meter

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"You are still here."

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"The blender just texted—we forgot to turn off the stove."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

'Say - according to our home computer, we're out of bread.'

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

"This home doesn't have a good view, but it comes with smart windows that change the view to something beautiful."

"Good morning, Doug, I've had a chat with the other smart appliances, and we feel we'll be just fine without you from here on in."