Moviegoer T-Shirts

Hey, take your hat off. My dog can't see the film!

'If movies are supposed to depress the hell out of you, then what's life for?'

"Which movie do you want to see?"

Repent

"Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by a string of great hollywood blockbusters."

'I think PG stands for pretty gross.'

'What a ripoff! Those guys aren't nerds - they're dorks!'

"I need another ticket! A stupid woman in there tore mine in half."

'You've seen the film now eat the cast!'

Funny movie

"I forget-did we decide to see something life-affirming or something mind-numbing?"

'My god! My shockproof watch has stopped...'

'I can feel a hundred eyes drilling into my bald spot.'

"The manager certainly has an effective way of dealing with people who don't swtich off their mobile phones in the cinema."

Now showing, Deja Kung Foo! 'Those martial arts movies are all alike!'

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Herman Mankiewicz

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

Theatre Masks and Butts

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'It was great. I hated it.'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Swan Lake's Odette and Siegfried

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'