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Film critic critics

Great movie. I wagged, I whined.

"The new movies are all romantic and funny."

"The movie opens in two weeks, but the advance reviews are in."

'Artistic it might have been, but those sort of films ought to be banned.'

"I laughed, I cried, I peed my pants...but I always do that."

The movie is so bad the server recommends ventilation.

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

Here comes the award for the best animal movie. I've seen them all. "Elephant in the Room"? Forgettable. "Birds of a Feather"? Flighty. "Happy as a Clam"? All wet. And the winner is "Playing Possum." Ooh! A sleeper!

Hear the stunning reviews for Boneyard Death Killers. It's one of the greatest movies in a generation. That's according to movieblogreview.com. What's that place? Boneyard chills, thrills and packs an emotional wallop says flickreviewblogspot. It's Friday the 13th meets Caddyshack meets Streetcar Named Desire, according to joereviewsmovies.com. Awesome dlite gr8 dialog 2 says movietwittergal. I loved this film! Reports I-get-free-stuff-from-studios-reviewer.com.

Multi Cinema. First, I was afraid I might fall asleep. Then I was afraid I might not fall asleep!

I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think. About what, little buddy? Star Trek. The latest movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus. Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives.

I hate Batman V Superman. It's the worst

Roger Ebert, RIP

Don Tudge's Positive Movie Reviews

"Katharine, I'm going to be completely frank about the film, even though you bought the tickets."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Showbiz Awards

Director/Action Man toy.

Benedict Cumberbatch

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."