Movie Prediction Pundit Gifts

'I like to keep up-to-date with the movies I'll be hating next year.'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

The big questions in life.

Euro fall...

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

Al, you know how a lot of people in Britain regretted their decision to leave the European Union? I was just wondering if you ever regretted your decision to leave the human race.

"Mom, can I obliterate New Jersey? Pleeease, mom?"

'Too many students taking Mickey Mouse subjects.'

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

Don Jr.

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

'She'll be back!!!'

Mudville

The Unbearableness of Being Inanimate

"'Superman legacy' was awful. Just awful!"

The Space Potatoes talk about....Madonna.

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

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