Movie Culture Critic Gifts

"When did movies start being dumb all year round?"

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Herman Mankiewicz

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

The height of fashion in 1796

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

"Bloody hell!"

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."