Mountain Escapists Gifts

'Ski Boots, One Size, Fits None.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Skiing.

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

Holiday time.

First aid in mountains

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

Happy Hour

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

Snowmobull

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

Skier and his dog.

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

"All the celebrities come here."

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"We were thinking about the Himalayas this summer. On the other hand, there's something very special about Montauk."

'Have you been working out?'

Skier flying past mountains

'You mean to tell me not one of us can write the word HELP legibly?'

Avalanche skiing is a RUSH!

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

St Bernard with Cappucino, Espresso, and Latte.

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

"I'm referring you to a specialist."

'Now that's what I call a rescue dog.'

'When you said 'walkies'...'

'I came over 20,000 miles and all you can tell me is shit happens?'

Fancy Wallpaper in a Cell

'It was still pitch black when I left for work: I picked my son's toy barrel instead of mine...'

Costa Coffee 20 Metres

Mountain Goat sees Mountain Goat Guru at peak.