Motorbike Collecting T-Shirts

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

Drool Marks

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"WOW...this new bike has great acceleration!"

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

Dairy Devil

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

Cheesie Rider

Biker Lawn Mower

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

"And do you, Bob, promise to treat Karen as well as you treat your vintage 1950 Indian Blackhawk motorcycle?"

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

Acme Flyswatters.

"It's a sports car. It's supposed to be uncomfortable."

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'It has ten speeds but only one has been used.'

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.