Motivational Falcon Pillows

Motivation Centre with twelve steps.

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

Getting through the week.

'You need to ask yourself, Am I a pecan or a pecan't?'

'Have a nice day, Dear.'

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

"Remember, you can do ANYTHING...but for only 80 cents to every dollar earned by a man."

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"So let's all remember... 'Believe in yourself' and others will believe in you!"

'It's true: I was hunting with the King himself last week...'

Turkey survivability - 'It's all in being able to put the old fork down and say no.'

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

'On the contrary-I quite enjoy that Monday morning feeling!'

Get up and go

"Doesn't it make sense to move Casual Friday to Monday?"

"Bandit is very sorry about your expensive drone and wants to say it will never happen again."

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

Man with a 'Think bigger' sign has a bigger office than a man with a 'Think big' sign.

'Last quarter's sales figures were disappointing but don't be discouraged. Let's double our efforts and remember that it takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.'

"You're down 10 - zip after the friggin' first half. Ask yourself � what is it going to take to turn this shit around?"

Workaholic

When motivational speakers are TOO effective.

'It's okay that you missed the bullseye. What's important is that you always aimed high.'

'Monday is too far from Friday, yet Friday is too close to Monday.'

I truly believe I was destined for greatness. Then I see a pile of excrement on the floor and I think'...Oh well!'

Employees following the boss's carrot.

"I believe in eggs, and I think that you all believe in eggs, too!"

And remember this carrot doubles as a stick.

Snail Shoes