Motivation Skeptic Prints

Motivational Tools.

'I've been to better motivational seminars.'

'Before our board meeting, let us pray beneath the fabled 'Contract of Inspiration''.

'This is about the poster isn't it?'

"For the last time, don't run 'persistence is the key to success by me again."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

Alternative Medicine

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

The suggestion box.

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Would you believe it took 60 people and a half a million dollars to come up with that?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

That should get you motivated.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'We hoped you'd respond more enthusiastically to our incentive program.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

Suggestions Box

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

Science deniers Soc.

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."