Motivated Worker Pillows

'Glad you're back, Jenkins, and making yourself useful.'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

"Best project manager we ever had."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

Monday: Next 7 exits.

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

When we believe together we achieve together.

'Great idea, Philpott. Wish you'd thought of it.'

I didn't want to become the company president, but the board of directors left me no choice. You were backed into a corner office.

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

Office Politics

Team Leader

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

"Corporate thinks it's time we updated our motivational strategies."

Course 'Management Skills and Employee Motivation', 09 AM - 05 PM, No breaks!

"Yes, we do have an incentive scheme - fall below that line and you're sacked."

'You're my best employee. You're punctual, ambitious and precise. The problem is ... it scares the devil out of my other employees.'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'Try as I may to get my ducks in a row, here's always some turkey stepping out of line.'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'I like to reward my employees for doing a good job. That's why I keep treats in my pockets when I walk past the cubicles.'

"Can you run that past me again, Watson - you seem to have lost me."

'A raise might destroy their initiative. The good old carrot and stick bonus keeps them focused.'

'Morale soared when we installed the Nurf Basketball.'

'We're not exactly sure why it works yet but his productivity is up 50.'

Elf of the Month

Martin Jol