Motivated Manager Pillows

'You're at that awkward age, Danforth, still thinking of promotion.'

"What? We owe our big profits to our motivated workforce and not our shareholders? Why wasn't I told this??"

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Best project manager we ever had."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

I didn't want to become the company president, but the board of directors left me no choice. You were backed into a corner office.

When we believe together we achieve together.

'Great idea, Philpott. Wish you'd thought of it.'

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

Office Politics

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

Sinking sales

"Corporate thinks it's time we updated our motivational strategies."

Course 'Management Skills and Employee Motivation', 09 AM - 05 PM, No breaks!

"Yes, we do have an incentive scheme - fall below that line and you're sacked."

'You're my best employee. You're punctual, ambitious and precise. The problem is ... it scares the devil out of my other employees.'

"I'm glad my team places me on a pedestal."

'I guess it was a mistake to make them self-starting.'

Support, Encourage, Inspire.

'Try as I may to get my ducks in a row, here's always some turkey stepping out of line.'

'I like to reward my employees for doing a good job. That's why I keep treats in my pockets when I walk past the cubicles.'

"Can you run that past me again, Watson - you seem to have lost me."

'A raise might destroy their initiative. The good old carrot and stick bonus keeps them focused.'

'Don't give up the day job...'