Mother-to-be Mugs

"So! When's the big day?"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Six down, three to go!!"

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pool attached to child's bed.

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

Mary, remember that you're pregnant and are now eating for 2,000.

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

In the DNA Kitchen

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"They look so young and helpless."

An expecting Flower wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying BUD

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."