Mother-to-be Fashionista Gifts

Pregnancy style expectation vs reality

Little Princess.

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'Baby's first two-step.'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Handbag: But You Have Kids and a Dog/But Have Kids

'I think there's been some mistake...'

How's the new one?

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

In the club.

Congratulations! When are you due?

'You were a ten month baby. The postman brought you.'

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

Maternity tattoos

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

Elvis Presley

You and your alternative pregnancy.

'Nice bling!'

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

'I'm on the way!'

"I'm ready for my close-up."

Yummy Mummy

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

'I've no objection to children, darling, as long as they're carefully colour co-ordinated.'

'How far along are you?'

I'm looking for a useful gift for a newborn. Nature's Baby Boutique. We have a large selection of essentials. Here are the 100% organic, fair trade, hand-dyed pashimina diaper covers. Wow! Nothing says "essential" like popped-on pashimina. A little dry-cleaning and it's good as new.

Doctors talking about ways to confuse patients with jargon.