Mosquito Humor Appreciator Pillows

'I always try to get him to come out and have a drink with me, but noooo...it's always the same excuse about how male mosquitoes don't suck blood. Whatever. I'm over it.'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

'A cheeky red?'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

Lactose Intolerant

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

The height of fashion in 1796

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

'Those bears are so cute I wish we could have brought them home.'

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Where Indian ink came from.

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."