Morphology Master T-Shirts

Department of Linguistics.

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'Life is like a trough, Mr. Fisk. How much slop you get out of it depends on how much slop you put into it.'

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"The mold cleaners are here! I gotta scram."

Corpse Reviver Number 2

Life Remaining Progress Bar

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

"Bacteria are fascinating. They multiply by dividing."

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

"Kind of makes your feel large and significant, doesn't it?"

Scientists discover a new Superbug

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

Louis Pasteur Caricature

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

'I'm just not keen.'

'Put it under my microscope!'

Norse God

Bureau of Red Tape

'...To be fair, the chemistry teacher didn't ask your Son to drink his practical exam.'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'