Morning Newspaper Enthusiast Pillows

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

"I wish you'd buy your own copy!"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

1,572 Performances.

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

'Do you want toast with that?'

"Are those my slippers?!"

'Household water use'

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

Good Morning Britain

Sunday.

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

H L Mencken.

"I'm more of a day owl."

'You're beat. Maybe you need to wake up to a better morning news team.'

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

'Your polar ice cap is melting.'

'On the contrary-I quite enjoy that Monday morning feeling!'

"According to the Times, the cartoonist drew my right hand wrong."

'Grandpa isn't very child-friendly, is he?'

"Reading the Sunday Funnies 'religiously' does not count as worship."

"Honey, could you pass me the cow."

"Good coffee."

'You're listening to no repeat radio where we never play the same song twice! Yeah! No repeat radio! Where you'll never hear the same song twice! Only on no repeat radio!'

"Dang it."

"Can't you forget about the FT for once?"

'How long has what been going on?'

'Look. I fetch it - I get to read it first.'

Henry Watterson (Louisville Courier-Journal Editor) Softened on Disputed Election by Birth of his Son

"Was that the crack of dawn, Arthur, or your back?"