Morning News Enthusiast T-Shirts

"A look at the papers soon, but first the news where you are..."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Meet the Enemy

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Capital Tours

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

Reporter #6: television.

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

Classic News.

Charades

Big Newspaper Delivery

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

1,572 Performances.

'You've been killing files again.'

The Russians Are Coming...Maybe

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"So how much money do you make?"

CONGRESS, 'It was a really tight race this time -- I had to use some of my campaign contributions for CAMPAIGNING!'

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."